Arthur (2011)


I find the true glory of RedBox is that it allows me to be less discerning in my tastes. For a dollar a night, I will watch almost anything. And, tonight, I put that to the test. I rented the remake of Arthur (starring Russell Brand, Elektra, and Helen Mirren), even though I never had anything resembling a desire to watch this movie. What can I say?  I’m spontaneous.

Since this movie came out, I feel as if I had heard nothing about it that was good. As is customary for me, I went to Rotten Tomatoes to find out what everyone else thought of it, as the opinions of others make up my own. But, with a Rotten Tomatoes score of 26%, I found that their opinions would not actually be helping me this time around. I found Arthur to be a very enjoyable movie, and I don’t care if you disagree.

Arthur (Russell Brand) is a drunk, British dude that is living in New York City. I know that because I’ve become VERY familiar with NYC from the Spider-Man games. Many times in the movie I thought to myself “I crawled on that very wall”! Anyways, Arthur lives in NYC, drinks and parties a lot, rides around in a DeLorean, and sexes the prostitutes. Not sexes as you may a chicken (I’m sure he knew their gender beforehand), but I refer to intercourse. The story, in desperate need of a catalyst, gets started by his mom telling him he has to marry Elektra (As I think was Jennifer Garner’s name in this movie, but I get very confused when off my meds) if he wants to remain rich. Now, he doesn’t want to do this, even though she is very hot, because she’s kind of a twat. Then he meets this very interesting blonde-haired lady named Naomi (Insert the actresses name here … come on, I don’t research this people!) and falls for her. Hijinks ensue, and later a happy ending.

I’m not sure if I was able to be fond of this movie because I’ve not seen the original or just because I’m not some jaded film critic, but I liked this movie. I hated Russell Brand before this movie, and I hate him slightly less now. Also, just so you’re up to speed, I still think Jennifer Garner is hot and Helen Mirren is awesome, but more awesome with a sniper rifle in RED. There were more than a few moments in this movie that got me to laugh out loud (Or LOL if you’re 20 and under) and I rarely laugh in movies. Also, I’m not too masculine that I can’t say I got a little choked up in this movie at points.

So, I guess what I’m getting at is this movie is definitely worth the maybe 2 dollars I’ve paid for it by now. Do I feel the need to add it to my enormous movie collection? Meh, not at the moment. But maybe one day if I find it for like 5 dollars.

On a scale of 1 to 5 stars, I give Arthur “Pretty good”. …Do I not understand the way rating systems work?

In the beginning …


In the beginning, God created man, animals, movies, beef jerky, video games, the One Ring, and women…IN THAT ORDER.

That ridiculousness aside, allow me to inform you as to the purpose of this here blog.  At the moment, I find myself in a state of being 28-years-old and displeased with the general state of life.  My goal in life is to review video games for a magazine and I’ve been trying to go to school for that, reaching the usual problem of price.  I cannot afford school therefore I do not go to school, therefore I have no degree, and therefore I get to whine a lot.

So, one friend of mine decided she’d get a blog on this here site and shortly after another friend suggested that, if I want to review things for a living, I may as well start now, get myself up to snuff as it were.  And that is the purpose of this blog site … thingie.

Now, as I’ve minor experience blogging in the past, I’ve learned what I’d like to do, and what I’d hate to do.  What I’d hate to do most here is to continue my MySpace blogging style of “Woe is me”.  Instead, I’d like to focus more on reviews.  I find myself watching a great deal of movies (especially since I recently found the glory of the Red Box) and playing a great deal of video games, often at the same time.  That being the case, I shall start putting my thoughts on movies and video games here for the world to see.  But, more importantly, I will put them here whether the world sees them or not.  Other people be damned!  Also, if anything I find amusing comes to mind, I may put that here as well, under the ruse that it is a review of something.  Take that, restriction-I-arbitrarily-put-on-myself!

With that being said, on to the reviews, and to Hell with your reviews of them!