I Like This Ship! Y’know, It’s Exciting!
No one requested this movie and I think most people already know how I feel about it. I watched this for me. I bought it on BluRay, special edition style for the win! I’ve watched it numerous times since purchasing it and I likes it just as much every time. Let’s get right into it, shall we? This movie is Star Trek, the revamped movie series written by Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci, directed by J.J. Abrams, and starring Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, Leonard Nimoy, Eric Bana, Bruce Greenwood, Zoe Saldana, Karl Urban, Simon Pegg, John Cho, Anton Yelchin, Winona Ryder, Chris Hemsworth, Clifton Collins Jr., and, unfortunately, Tyler Perry.
Alright, this little ship comes up on this black hole and this huge ass ship comes out and is like “WHAT?!” and then starts going “Pachew, pachew pachew”. The USS Kelvin is no match for the Romulan ship, the Narada, so the captain of the Kelvin goes over to discuss a cease fire. The captain of the Narada, Nero (Eric Bana), asks him a few questions about a person he’s never heard of, then kills him. George Kirk (Chris Hemsworth) takes over as captain and orders an evacuation of everyone on board including his really, really preggers wife. Kirk must stay aboard the ship and his wife leaves, giving birth to their son, James Tiberius Kirk. Also, on Vulcan, baby Spock gets picked on for having a human mom. Now grown up, James Kirk (Chris Pine) drunkenly hits on Uhura (Zoe Saldana) at a bar and gets beat up by her Starfleet buddies. One of the shots to the noggin and a pep talk from Captain Christopher Pike (Bruce Greenwood) and he enlists in Starfleet. On the way there, he meets and befriends Leonard “Bones” McCoy (Karl Urban). Years later, Kirk and Spock (Zachary Quinto) get on each others bad side when Kirk cheats on Spock’s test and Spock gets Kirk suspended for it, which keeps Kirk grounded when the Starfleet leaves to check on a distress call from Vulcan. McCoy gets Kirk on board the USS Enterprise where Kirk is able to stop the ship from warping into a trap from the Narada. Some people are saved, but most of Vulcan is lost, and Captain Pike is captured by Nero. Can Spock and Kirk settle their differences and take out this new threat? No, Spock jettisons Kirk to a frozen planet instead. But at least he gets to meet old Spock (Leonard Nimoy) and Montgomery “Scotty” Scott (Simon Pegg)!
Some may assume that my nerdiness would inherently make me a Star Trek fan, but this is not the case. I’ve seen this movie, but I’ve never seen an episode of the TV show and I’ve only ever seen parts of the original movies. As any self respecting nerd, I picked a side in the Star Wars/Star Trek war and irrationally disregarded the other half. I’m a Star Wars man. But something inspired me to watch this movie and I’m very glad that I did. It rules. Does it rule as much as Star Wars? I’ve conferred with my nerdiness and determined that I cannot confirm nor deny that. But this movie is very good. The story took a dangerous concept and pulled it off. Not only is it dangerous to remake such a beloved series, but time travel can be a dangerous, easy story device used by bad writers, but both are pulled off well. I don’t think I heard too many Trekkies getting their panties in a knot about this movie after it came out, though most had preemptively tied up their panties. But the story they delivered was well thought out, action-packed, emotional in parts, and charming throughout. It also looked better than I assume every other incarnation of Star Trek, so it’s got that goin for it too. The Narada looked awesome, but it was a little problematic for me. It was apparently originally a mining vessel, but was also more menacing than any mining vessel ever was or should be, and apparently loaded with the most advanced weaponry of it’s time. Seems a bit overkill for a mining vessel. But it is comforting to know that we’ll still be able to listen to the Beastie Boys in the year 2245. Also, why come they have all this advanced technology but they forgot that some technology can automatically time stamp things, taking away your need to start everything with the stardate?
The casting is the best part of this movie. Every single person in this movie fits their characters and performs them excellently. Chris Pine was a cocky douche, was funny most of the time, and pulled off the emotional scenes very well. Zachary Quinto made a fantastic Spock. When he turns down the Vulcan council early in the movie, I loved the way he practically spat “Live long and prosper” at them. But for the rest of the movie I felt he was a little dry and unemotional. Just kidding. He’s a Vulcan. He actually came close to emoting too much for a Vulcan. I didn’t like the choice for his mom though. Winona Ryder is too hot to pull off being Zachary Quinto’s mom. Zoe Saldana was fantastic as well, and super hot as always. She also managed to Navi-whip Spock. Navi-whipped, p-whipped…get it? No? It sounded better in my head. I got in a argument with myself over whether I liked Simon Pegg or Karl Urban better in this movie, but I wasn’t able to decide. They’re my favorite characters in this. Simon Pegg easily gets the win over Karl Urban in total career, but in this movie I give them equal. Both were funny whenever they were on and both captured their characters. I felt like Eric Bana may have hammed it up a bit, but not too bad. Tyler Perry was my only problem with the casting. Not because he didn’t do his small part well, but because his movies are awful. I don’t want to go through every name in the movie, but every other name was great.
So, yeah. This movie rules. You should watch and own it. And this is coming from a verified non-Trekkie, so this comes with no bias whatsoever. I dig the look and the story of this movie a lot, but it wouldn’t be anything without the fantastic cast. GO WATCH NOW! Star Trek gets “I’ve never beamed three people from two targets onto one pad before! I thought that was pretty good!” out of “I am grateful for this.”
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