Forgive Me, Brother! But the Bloodstone is Mine!
Keepin’ up with the Chrisdiashians, and moving into the second in the Subspecies series that none of us had ever heard of but Chris. But it’s a review request, so it’s my duty to review them. And stop laughing because I wrote “duty”. The previous movie was a good enough go at it, but it was hindered mainly by production value. Typically speaking, movies get more money and less focus on story as they get sequels, but does that also apply for straight to video movies? We’ll find out in my review of Bloodstone: Subspecies 2, written by Charles Band and Ted Nicolaou, directed by Ted Nicolaou, and starring Anders Hove, Denise Duff, Melanie Shatner, Pamela Gordon, Michael Denish, Kevin Blair, and Ion Haiduc. …Isn’t “Haiduc” a line from that Numa Numa song?
The vampire Radu (Anders Hove) is able to recover from his decapitation with a prehensile spine and a little help from his finger-minions. When he’s finally back on his feet, he sets about killing his brother, Stefan, and Stefan’s newly vampired girlfriend, Michelle (Denise Duff). He stakes Stefan (who is apparently much more allergic to stakes through the heart than his brother), but is unable to kill Michelle before the sun rises and causes him to retreat to his tomb. Always the early bird, Michelle wakes up before Radu, finds Stefan dead, and escapes with the Bloodstone, a magical relic that is semi-constantly dripping with the blood of the Saints. Radu is not too pleased. Radu runs to his mom, who he calls “Mummy” (Pamela Gordon), for help while Michelle runs into her sister, Becky (Melanie Shatner), who has been searching for her.
Subspecies is still a solid enough series, though what I expected didn’t really happen. The story did not move much in quality, but neither did the graphics. The first thing that caught me off guard was that I was actually fairly interested in seeing what happened next in this series for some reason. This made it all the more annoying when my Xbox wouldn’t play Chris’ DVDs. A quick doctoring and a change in device later and I was finally able to watch it. Now that I have, the story is still fairly basic, but still pretty good. The movies are beginning to play like really long episodes of a TV show, picking up right where the last one left off. It follows the obvious path set forth by the first movie, having Radu get revenge on Stefan, having Michelle flee, but I never really understood why Michelle would think to take the Bloodstone. I know that Radu wanted it, and she would probably have an idea to honor Stefan’s memory by not letting him take it, but I would’ve left that shit. This was my first day as a vampire and I don’t need the baggage of having Radu follow me around to get some rock. Michelle dealing with becoming a vampire was pretty interesting for a bit, like when the sun woke her up in bed and made her go and sleep in the shower. One thing that bothered me here is that the cleaning lady saw her sleeping in the shower and instantly started screaming. I know it’s a bit odd to find someone sleeping in the shower, but shouldn’t you check for a pulse first before you just start acting like she’s dead? The graphics did not change very much for this movie, but the finger minions were not nearly as present so I could consider that a plus. They used the same shadow effects that I liked in the first movie, but they perhaps overused them for this movie. Radu doesn’t really have to disappear into a shadow in order to walk across the kitchen, and then again to open the fridge. He didn’t do that, but it was getting to that point. The severed heads they used in the movie were really convincing though. It was strange, almost as if they used their entire budget just on that. They looked like the person they were supposed to be, and even animated appropriately, a feat that is not often performed by movies. They also twice went to a metal club in the movie, and I really dug the music they were playing. It was kind of reminiscent of King Diamond, or perhaps the Metallica cover of a Mercyful Fate song.
The performances were not notably changed for this movie. A couple of the actors were different, but none really made that much of an impact. Anders Hove still has a great look for a vampire, but his voice was beginning to wear on me. He talks like someone just karate chopped him in the larynx. If someone would give the man a lozenge, I’d probably be much less annoyed. He’s otherwise a great and menacing vampire, and I guess technically his voice adds to that effect, but it irritates me. There was one point where he was watching someone he intended to eat from a balcony above her and he started making strange mouth movements for no particular reason. It was like he was stretching out his jaw, or he just had a spoonful of peanut butter or something. Also, at one point he tells his mom that he hungers … for love, which does not really seem in character for him. And I also think he’d probably get a lot more eating done if he didn’t have to make such a production out of it. It takes him about a minute from the moment his mouth opens to the moment his mouth hits the neck. I got irritated at Denice Duff at first because they almost showed her boobs and didn’t. When you’re in a somewhat cheesy, direct to video horror movie, it’s your job to get them boobs out. Thankfully, she became a better actress later when she did get them boobs out. …That is all I have to say about her performance.
Halfway through the series now. They’ve stayed roughly the same in quality so far. The story’s about the same and the graphics may have improved slightly, but they overused a few things that ruined my enjoyment. Anders Hove is still creepy and his voice is annoying, but there are some boobs. I would say I’m comfortable recommending this movie as a watch, but good luck finding it. If you want to watch it, befriend Chris. Bloodstone: Subspecies 2 gets “Whatever I said about the last movie” out of “Still not able to find quotes for these movies.”
Hey, peeps. Why not rate and comment on this as a favor to good ole Robert, eh? And tell your friends! Let’s make me famous!