0001 – Mission Statement (2013)


Hey YouTube.  My Name is Robert, and I Review Stuff.

0001 - Mission StatementToday is going to be a quickie review, and a review of something I don’t usually review.  I haven’t gotten a lot of requests to review YouTube videos.  Well, technically, this video wasn’t requested either, but I felt it was necessary.  This guy just started posting videos on YouTube, and just posted his first video on Sunday.  Apparently, he’s going to do one every Sunday from now on.  And this mother fucker is trying to get in on my review game!  That’s what I do, baby!  Let’s see if this guy even deserves a YouTube channel as I review 0001 – Mission Statement by Robert Bicket at YouTube channel RobertReviewsStuff.

I loved this video!  I was surprised that I’d like it since this guy is totally trying to swagger jack me, but there’s a slight chance that he does this better than me.  How am I supposed to compete with this guy?  Have you watched the video?  Have you seen him?  He’s a good-looking son of a bitch!  You can’t even see my face here!  (I mean, that’s really more your problem than anything else)  But this is a simple YouTube video, but it shows promise of so much more.  I would say one major problem with the video is that the guy claims that he reviews stuff, but does not actually review anything in the video.  I assume that is something that is going to happen at some point in his bright future.  There are also a couple of parts to the video that indicate a certain lack of familiarity with his video editing software, but it’s his first video so I’ll give him a break.  I appreciate his self-defacing humor, his reference to a Twisted Sister song, and the ending makes me laugh every time.  But I would say that I’m perhaps a bit resentful of the fact that he hates reading, and that’s what I do!  I hope he’s not shitting on reading reviews, ‘cause that’s my bread and butter.  And what’s more is that he actually links to this website in his video!  I love this guy!

I love everything about the look of this video.  The backdrop he chose was great because it gives him a great credibility when it comes to reviewing movies since the entire background is a mere section of his DVD collection.  It does not really demonstrate any ability to review video games, but his alabaster complexion tells us all we need to know about his ability to review video games.  His wardrobe also deserves to be lauded.  Sure, it looks like a sweater that his sister probably got him for Christmas at some point, but I imagine that his sister has better taste in clothing than he does.  Not that he even needs them since he’s so friggin’ sexy that I would put down cold, hard cash to see this guy naked.  No homo.

So that’s it.  I totally recommend that you go to the YouTube channel of this “Robert Bicket” person and subscribe.  I probably shouldn’t have to tell you to like the channel because I assume you are a sane person and could not possibly dislike this video.  Sure, this first video doesn’t offer too much to the audience, but you should definitely subscribe because the videos will most definitely improve, even though you won’t believe that they could get better.  I give 0001 – Mission Statement “I WANNA ROCK!” out of “OR DID I?!  BUM BUM BUM!!!”

In all seriousness, this review was just my stupid way to tell you to go watch and “Like” my video, and don’t forget to subscribe.  Please leave comments telling me what you think and get this channel popular.  I had to really force myself to overcome my insecurities to put this video up in the first place (after having talked myself out of the channel about 20 times before the drop date) and it would do wonders to have people supporting me to keep doing this in the future.  Thanks in advance, Robert.

Let’s get these reviews more attention, people.  Post on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, MySpace if you just awoke from a coma, and whatever else you can to get as many eyes on these things as possible.  Follow my fanpage on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, and subscribe to my YouTube channel to keep on top of all things Robert.  And don’t underestimate the importance of some constructive criticism.  Rate these reviews, like the videos, and comment on both with anything you’d like to say.  And don’t forget to request things you want a review of.  LOVE YOUSE GUYS!!

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