The Bourne Legacy (2012)

How Many of Us Are There?

Today’s movie had arrived in theaters without me even knowing it, which is really strange because it’s the fourth movie in a series that I’ve loved so far.  I’m not entirely sure why I wasn’t paying attention.  It could have been because they changed the main actor, but I doubt it because I like the new actor just as much as I like the old one.  It could have also been because the movie didn’t look that good, but it’s probably not that because nothing that I had seen made me doubt it could live up to the other movies.  It also could have been that the movie looked like they were just trying to grab some more cash from the movie series.  I don’t really have a counter point to that one.  But, when I realized that the movie had been released, I set my sights on checking it out as soon as I could.  And that brings us up to speed and I can review the Bourne Legacy, based on a novel by Eric Van Lustbader, based on characters created by Robert Ludlum, written by Dan Gilroy, co-written and directed by Tony Gilroy, and starring Jeremy Renner, Rachel Weisz, Edward Norton, Stacy Keach, Joan Allen, David Strathairn, Albert Finney, Scott Glenn, Zeljko Ivanek, and Louis Ozawa Changchien.

Aaron Cross (Jeremy Renner) is traversing an obstacle course through Alaska as a test of the effectiveness of Operation Outcome, a secret government operation to use chemicals to help the human body reach its physical and mental peak.  He eventually reaches a cabin to meet his contact, another Operation Outcome agent called Number Three (Oscar Isaac).  The fact that Operation Blackbriar and Treadstone were exposed by Jason Bourne in the previous movie leads to CIA operative Eric Byer (Edward Norton) to wise up for a few minutes and realize that these tests are not working out for the government, so he decides to scrap this version of the project and kill Aaron and everyone in the facility that provides the chemicals for them, including Dr. Marta Shearing (Rachel Weisz), but she survives.  Aaron does as well, so he’s going to have to go and punch some faces to teach the government a lesson.  But the government will probably strike back with their other projects that they are completely confident will never turn against them like the other two.

This movie disappointed me with how thoroughly okay they were.  It wasn’t a bad movie, but the other three movies set a high bar for this movie and it never managed to reach that level.  I found myself starting to get annoyed that our government is apparently smart enough to develop these programs to make these super soldiers, but not smart enough to realize that it’s not working in their favor.  This is the fourth movie that should teach them that this is going to blow up in their face, but they’re all going to get the idea in their head that the others failed, but this time will be different.  I like to believe that the government would move on if the Manhattan Project blew up in their faces four times, killing everyone involved and making them look bad publically each time, but maybe that’s just me.  It felt in the early parts of the movie as if I should have gotten a discount because they seemed to delight in using scenes from the previous movies.  I understand tying the movies together, but at a certain point I just start thinking I would’ve been better off staying at home and watching the DVD’s that I already own.  But they slowed down with that soon enough in the movie that I wasn’t that annoyed.  I was a little annoyed by the ending, but mainly just because it was kind of quick and pretty lackluster, like they just ran out of steam and just slapped “The End” on it.

One of my favorite parts of the previous Bourne movies is the fact that their solid story was backed up by some badass action.  They decided that this movie needed to be too much subpar story and we could leave the action by the wayside for the bulk of the movie.  The first decent fight of the movie was an hour and a half in!  The bulk of the first part of the movie is people talking and reaching the conclusion that they should wipe out the project mixed in with scenes of Aaron Cross walking through snow.  You know what I don’t come to my Bourne movies to watch?  20 minutes of a psychologist session with Rachel Weisz talking about how she feels about Zeljko Ivanek shooting her coworkers.  Just after that is when they realize that the Bourne movies are supposed to be action flicks.  It was a good bit of fighting though and I was dying for it to happen by this point, even though it left me thoroughly confused about how a guy died from getting a table kicked into his head.  Unconscious, sure.  But dead?  That should take something more like a drill bit being fired out of a fire extinguisher.  There are one or two more good fights in the movie, but the action was spread out way too far for my taste and left me disappointed in the movie overall.  There was a spectacular motorcycle crash near the end of the movie that came out of nowhere and surprised the hell out of me, but it also annoyed me because I felt like it robbed us from a good fist fight that needed to happen.  The part where Aaron grinds the motorcycle down the handrail that you can see in the trailers was pretty sweet though.

I even took issues with the performances, even though they got a lot of great people that I really like to be in the movie.  I guess it’d be more accurate to say that I took issue with the characters because the performances themselves were solid.  Jeremy Renner is a great actor, and when I saw that he was taking the reins from Matt Damon I decided it was an acceptable substitution, but I didn’t really like this character or how it was portrayed.  Jason Bourne was a cool and collected badass; Aaron Cross is a pill addict who talks too much.  But Renner did a good job with the action, and he also played his less interesting character well.  Rachel Weisz did have to bust out the acting chops a little more often, like in the scene where we’re watching her debriefing with the psychologist, but I was too busy being angry that I was having to watch that scene to pay attention to how well she pulled it off.  She mainly had to be scared and run around as her performance, and she did it well.  I was a little confused about why her character lived in a haunted house, but it apparently wasn’t important.  And the ghosts never showed up.  Also the house was just old and looked haunted.  Edward Norton was in the movie, but surprised me by never really doing anything to make me pay attention to him.  That’s not usually his MO.

If the Bourne Legacy had a different title, I probably would have liked it more.  I would have definitely thought that it was a Bourne rip off, but it wouldn’t have had to live up to its predecessors and fall short.  The story was fairly typical for the Bourne series, full of stuff that shows us how untrustworthy and stupid our government is, but the action could not elevate this movie as it was able to in the previous movies because there just wasn’t enough of it.  The movie winds up being okay, but probably not good enough to inspire seeing it in theaters.  Good enough for a rental when it comes out though.  The Bourne Legacy gets “I wanna stop thinking” out of “I’ll get my bag.”

Let’s get these reviews more attention, people.  Post reviews on your webpages, tell your friends, do some of them crazy Pinterest nonsense.  Whatever you can do to help my reviews get more attention would be greatly appreciated.  You can also add me on FaceBook and Twitter.  Don’t forget to leave me some comments.  Your opinions and constructive criticisms are always appreciated.

American History X (1998)

Happy Birthday, Forty!

I decided, though it wasn’t officially requested, I would review a movie in celebration of the birth of my friend Forty.  One thing you must know about my friend Forty is that he’s a white supremacist, but it’s okay because he’s Mexican.  He’s an enigma.  And a racist.  So the movie I decided I should review is a movie he likes for the racism, but apparently ignores because it has an anti-racism message to it.  I think he just picks and chooses which parts he’s going to pay attention to.  But I’m going to pay attention to the entire thing as I present my review of American History X, written by David McKenna, directed by Tony Kaye, and starring Edward Norton, Edward Furlong, Avery Brooks, Stacy Keach, Beverly D’Angelo, William Russ, Guy Torry, Ethan Suplee, Fairuza Balk, and Jennifer Lien.

This is another one of those movies I don’t like reviewing because the story is told out of order, going back and forth between the present day and flashbacks.  I’ll try to work it out though.  A while before the movie proper starts, the firefighter father (William Russ) of Derek Vineyard (Edward Norton) is killed while trying to put out a fire in a drug house.  This leads to Derek turning to racism and join a neo-Nazi street gang called the D.O.C, led by Cameron Alexander (Stacy Keach).  While banging the bejesus out of his girlfriend Stacey (Fairuza Balk), Derek’s brother Danny (Edward Furlong) comes in to inform him that three black guys are breaking into Derek’s truck.  Derek shoots and kills one of them, wounds another, and the third escapes.  Derek then brutally kills the wounded black guy by curb stomping him.  Derek goes to jail for three years.  In jail he joins the Aryan Brotherhood, but leaves them a year later after finding that they have friendly dealings with a Mexican gang member.  For the insult, the brotherhood rapes him in the shower.  Derek befriends a black prisoner named Lamont (Guy Torry) and starts rehabilitating with the help of his black former English teacher Dr. Bob Sweeney (Avery Brooks).  While Derek is turning from racism, Danny is joining the DOC and writing reports on Mein Kampf.  I guess you could call this a sticky situation.

It probably wasn’t the greatest decision to review this movie.  Not because it’s a bad movie as it’s actually a very good movie.  I just think I’ll probably find it fairly difficult to say anything funny in relation to this movie.  At least not without becoming pretty damned offensive myself.  I’m not above being offensive though, so we’ll see what happens.  It’s a compelling and thought-provoking story, but I don’t feel like it’s really a pleasure to watch for pretty much any race.  Non-racist white people like myself feel a little embarrassed and guilty about the movie, but no one’s really portrayed in the best light.  While simultaneously making us realize that stereotypes are bad (mmmkay?), it’s also showing us a pretty good amount of people that are fitting those stereotypes.  When they mess up a grocery store because it hires illegal immigrants, it’s actually populated by illegal immigrants.  The guys breaking into Derek’s car are definitely black guys.  They’re also very good at basketball.  Of course, the white people are mostly unlikeable too.  Two of Derek’s family members are okay, and that’s about the entirety of the good white people in this movie until Derek and Danny turn to the lighter side of the force.  The movie is a riveting watch, but the subject matter keeps it from being something I really enjoy watching.  It’s all this racism and sides of humanity that I like to tell myself doesn’t exist, but I secretly know it does.  I don’t come across it very much as a white guy, but I’ve actually seen it alongside my dirty wetback friend Forty.  I remember one time we were at a gun show in town (the perfect meeting grounds for white trash) and a particularly white trashy lady asked him – with no noticeable sign of being intentionally racist – if he was an anchor baby.  I don’t remember the response Forty took, but I’d guess that he just admitted that he was and we went about our day.  I’ve gotten distracted.  Another thing that makes the movie not a pleasure to watch is the ending as it’s thoroughly depressing, and always made me wonder if Derek would return to racism after what happens.  The thing that is most responsible for me not finding this movie an enjoyable experience is the curb stomping scene.  Starting with the sound made by the teeth touching the curb, every part of that scene makes my skin crawl and upsets me.  But, again, this is still a really good movie that I respect, but I like my movies to be fun and this is far from that.

The thing that I think sells this movie the most is Edward Norton.  That guy’s amazing in this movie.  He really immerses himself in his roles and it works out phenomenally here.  I was particularly impressed by him physically in the movie.  In the flashback scenes when he was talking to the news station about his father, where he looked physically unimpressive.  Then we jump to the middle of his racist times where he’s friggin’ yoked.  Can’t say I was that impressed with Edward Furlong in this movie though.  He never did anything that I found impressive, and the times that he tried to do something emotional, I remained unconvinced.  Ethan Suplee was hilariously racist in this movie.  Though I would never sing it aloud in public, I actually remember that entire song he’s singing in his van about how the “white man marches on.”  His character in this movie is a stark contrast to another time where I’ve seen him, as he was innocently spending an entire movie trying to see a sailboat in a Magic Eye picture in Mallrats.  Also, you can see Fairuza Balk’s boobs in this movie.  I’m not entirely sure why, but I’ve always had a thing for her.  Something about her just does it for me.

American History X is a fantastic movie with an engaging story, thought-provoking moments, and a good message at the end.  But it’s also not something I’d call a pleasure to watch.  It’s depressing and full of people I like to think don’t actually exist.  But it’s a great movie that deserves to be watched, especially for Edward Norton’s fantastic performance.  I hope Forty enjoyed his birthday present, ‘cause I’m gonna go start cutting myself.  American History X gets “I’m the most dangerous man in this prison.  You know why?  ‘Cause I control the underwear” out of “Has anything you’ve done made your life better?”

My friend Forty would probably appreciate it if I pointed out that my comments about him being racist were done for the sake of comedy, and are only about 80% true.

Let’s get these reviews more attention, people.  Post reviews on your webpages, tell your friends, do some of them crazy Pinterest nonsense.  Whatever you can do to help my reviews get more attention would be greatly appreciated.  You can also add me on FaceBook and Twitter.  Don’t forget to leave me some comments.  Your opinions and constructive criticisms are always appreciated.

Fight Club (1999)

I Want You To Hit Me As Hard As You Can

Yeah, I couldn’t actually let you go an entire day without giving you a review proper.  I also don’t care what any of you think, the previous Fight Club review was hilarious to me.  Fight Club was recommended to me at one point, but I no longer have any memory of who actually supplied the recommendation.  It doesn’t really matter though.  Fight Club is an immensely popular movie, but I don’t recall being that enthralled with the movie as most people were.  But it’s also been a very long time since I last saw the movie, so I don’t have a whole lot of memory of it.  Now that I’ve watched it again, my memory is a lot clearer.  So let’s see what I thought of Fight Club, based on a novel by Chuck Palahniuk, written by Jim Uhls, directed by David Fincher, and starring Edward Norton, Brad Pitt, Helena Bonham Carter, Meat Loaf, Jared Leto, Zach Grenier, and Eion Bailey.

Our narrator and star was never given a name (although I never realized that about Edward Norton’s character until I started writing this review).  What we do know about him is that he’s an insomniac.  Based on a doctor’s recommendation, he starts going to support groups so that he can see what real suffering looks like.  Being able to release his emotions at these meetings finally allows him to get some sleep, but his bliss is interrupted by another imposter at the support groups named Marla Singer (Helena Bonham Carter).  After stewing over her presence for long enough, he finally confronts her and reaches an agreement so that they’ll never have to go to the support groups simultaneously.  On a flight home after a business trip, he meets a soap salesman named Tyler Durden (Brad Pitt).  When he returns home, he finds that his apartment was blown up in a freak accident.  He calls Tyler to find a place to stay and the two go out for drinks.  At the end of their bar visit, Tyler asks him to hit him as hard as he can.  He finds the fights that he and Tyler have help him see the world in a different way and, over time, they start a fight club.  This is also ruined by Marla, who starts banging Tyler.  Also, Tyler starts recruiting people from the fight club into a cult-esque organization bent on causing mayhem.

I admit that this is a good movie, but I still don’t find myself nearly as enthralled as many of the people I’ve talked to about it.  There’s nothing really wrong with the movie, it’s just not the revolution that most people would have me believe.  Perhaps it’s the story that enthralls some people.  It’s a very interesting look at the world with a message about finding value in something immaterial.  It’s very anarchic when it comes to Tyler Durden, but the narrator is just confused and whiny throughout the movie.  The big reveal at the end of the movie is cool and surprising, but it’s lost some of it’s steam after watching it knowing the big secret of the movie.  But it is a pretty cool story that probably never connects with me because I’ve never been in a fight, so I obviously can’t know that much about myself.  I’m also not super keen on anarchy, so I can’t really watch this movie thinking, “He’s right!  Let’s burn this mother down!”  I did like the humor in the movie as well.  People could find themselves interested in the look of the movie, and I’d tend to agree with them about that.  It opens up with a cool little animation (that I’m starting to find David Fincher is very fond of) that reminded me of the opening of the X-Men movie.  The rest of the movie does some really cool things with the direction and the look.  I liked when the narrator was telling the audience about Tyler by standing in front of the camera and speaking directly to us as Tyler was going about his business, but occasionally stopping to interact with Norton directly.  It was an interesting manipulation of the fourth wall.  Other interesting style choices came up in the movie, like the brief, one frame’s worth appearance of one of the characters during the scenes early in the movie, pointing out the cigarette burns on the film, and having the film warp and look like it was about to tear.  The music was also very good.  Most of it was a mix of metal and electronica, provided by the Dust Brothers.  It was also my introduction to the song “Where is My Mind?” by the Pixies, which I am now pretty fond of.

The thing I definitely connected with in the movie was in the performances.  Everyone in the movie knocked it right out of the park.  Edward Norton did a great job, losing a lot of weight and playing it really beaten down in the beginning, switching it up to a lot more confident and secure, and winded up being really manic and crazy near the end until the resolution.  I found Brad Pitt a much more interesting character, and that’s what he was meant to be.  He represented the man that most of us want to be: he’s strong, good looking, intelligent, funny, apparently very good at sex, but he kind of loses me when he wants to cause mayhem and anarchy.  I don’t want that part, but I might accept it if I can have all the rest of that stuff.  I also liked Helena Bonham Carter in the movie.  She was the one that allowed us to see what was actually going on when you watched it for the second time.  She was the one that showed the confusion in the situation.  She also got them boobs out.  Carter’s got a unique look that I can figure most people wouldn’t like, but I dig on it.  I’ve found her attractive more often than not, so I’m happy to see her in this movie.

Fight Club is a great movie that never really connected to me on the same level as it does with most people, but it’s a movie I respect and admire anyway.  It’s an interesting story that is kept from being a bummer by some real funniness, the look is fantastic, the music is great, and all of the performances are fantastic.  I’ll still recommend this movie to you as a watch because the chances are much higher that you’ll find this movie more significant and important than I did, and even if you’re more like me, it’s a good watch.  I still own this movie on DVD, after all.  Fight Club gets “Ah, flashback humor” out of “This is your life, and it’s ending one minute at a time.”

Let’s get these reviews more attention, people.  Post reviews on your webpages, tell your friends, do some of them crazy Pinterest nonsense.  Whatever you can do to help my reviews get more attention would be greatly appreciated.  You can also add me on FaceBook (Robert T. Bicket) and Twitter (iSizzle).  Don’t forget to leave me some comments.  Your opinions and constructive criticisms are always appreciated.

The Incredible Hulk (2008)

You Wouldn’t Like Me When I’m … Hungry

I had almost forgotten that I had promised to review one Avengers movie a month until the Avengers came out, but thankfully I remembered in time to fit this in to December. This month’s Avengers movie is the sequel to a movie I haven’t yet reviewed. I probably should’ve done them in order, but I wanted to watch this one ’cause it’s better. But, since this movie has all different actors in it and pretty much acts like the first movie never happened, it can easily be considered a standalone movie. It doesn’t even have a 2 in the title. And to prove that, I present you with the title of today’s movie, The Incredible Hulk, written by Zak Penn and Edward Harrison, directed by Louis Leterrier, and starring Edward Norton, Liv Tyler, William Hurt, Tim Roth, Tim Blake Nelson, Ty Burrell, and Christina Cabot, with cameos by Robert Downey Jr. and Rickson Gracie.

Dr. Bruce Banner (Edward Norton) is hanging out in Brazil, working in a soda bottling plant while doing experiments with plants, watching Portuguese Sesame Street, and training in heart rate control with Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu expert Rickson Gracie. One day, he cuts his finger and the blood falls in one of the sodas. He has them shut it down as he cleans it up (probably telling them he’s got the AIDS), but he misses a drop that gets mixed in to one of the drinks, shipped to the US, and makes Stan Lee sick. General Thaddeus “Thunderbolt” Ross (William Hurt) finds out about it and assembles a team lead by British Royal Marine Emil Blonsky (Tim Roth) to capture Banner. It doesn’t go well. Something happens and they lose Banner and find a giant green thing that kicks the crap out of them. But (SURPRISE!) Banner IS the giant green thing. Blonsky wants another crack at Banner so General Ross uses some Super Soldier Serum on Blonsky to ready him for their next encounter. Banner wakes up naked and confused in Guatemala. I’m beginning to think I may be the Hulk but, when you wake up naked and confused after becoming the Hulk, does your butt always hurt? Anyways, Banner decides that he needs some data from his ex-girlfriend (and daughter of the General), Betty Ross (Liv Tyler), so he goes back to New York to get it. This gives Blonsky his second chance at Banner, but it ends up with Blonsky getting kicked in the chest and all of his bones pulverized by the Hulk. Now back on the run with Betty, Banner has to meet up with his last chance to get cured, his contact Mr. Blue, Dr. Samuel Sterns (Tim Blake Nelson). But the danger of General Ross and Blonsky is still looming.

After the events of the first Hulk movie, I admit that I was a little bit disappointed. I was nowhere near as disappointed as most people seemed to be about it, but it certainly wasn’t the Hulk movie the world was looking for. It was kind of a slow, artsy, touchy-feely Hulk movie and, if you’re familiar with the Hulk character, you’re probably looking more for a movie with a lot of anger and smashing. That’s where this movie came in, because it WAS the type of Hulk movie we were wanting. A little bit of story is nice, but you really just want to see the Hulk smash some faces, and this movie delivers on that. Unlike the first Hulk move that took 55 minutes to even show us the Hulk (yes, I timed it), this one gets you to it in a clean 20 minutes or so. The Hulk shows up to wreak some havoc TWICE in 50 minutes, and that’s the kind of thing I like out of a movie with the guy’s name as the title. The basic story of the movie was a little simple, but worked for this movie. It was Banner’s usual desire to be free of the Hulk, General Ross’ desire to use the Hulk for military gain, and Blonsky’s jealousy of the Hulk. But all of these story elements mainly served to get us to the next time that the Hulk could smash some things. The main story element of the movie didn’t make sense until a little over halfway into the film. Why would anyone want to be free of the Hulk? Some dudes are picking on you but you’re too wimpy to do anything and then OOPS! You got too angry and they’re being taken away in an ambulance. The army is after you but UH OH! One of the soldiers tackled your girlfriend and now needs to have his car repeatedly smashed into some sculpture thing. But then they showed us why he wanted to be rid of the Hulk: he couldn’t get busy with Liv Tyler because it made his heart race too much. I’m with you now, Banner, let’s go see that weird guy about getting ourselves cured. On a similar note, how many super hot chicks are working in bottling factories down in Brazil? ‘Cause there was at least one in this movie and, if that’s a fact, I think it’s time for a relocation and career change for good ole Robert.

Where the story is perhaps a bit lacking, it’s made up for by exciting, badass action scenes. They really captured the Hulk in this movie. This dude is pissed, but he really just wants to be left alone, and that’s what the Hulk is all about. After he’s punished the people that initially made him get pissed enough to turn into the Hulk, he’s ready to walk away … until someone else shoots at him … then he throws a forklift at them or pummels them with half of a police car on each fist like boxing gloves. I also appreciated that the Hulk remained a creature of few words. He’s not usually articulate or anything, but in the comics he can tend to go on about how “The Hulk is the strongest one there is” and “Hulk hates puny Banner”, but in this movie he maybe spoke twice; once to say “Betty”, and once to give us a well-timed “Hulk smash!” Keeping the words he speaks minimal as they did makes it so much more awesome when he finally says those words, especially since he follows it up by choking out another giant CG creature. I also loved how they initially introduced us to the Hulk in this movie. They didn’t show him outright, only parts of him at a time, hidden in shadows, and some good silhouette work, like when they threw a grenade and it blew up behind him, but you only saw his silhouette in the orange cloud.

I don’t understand how the Hulk movies can’t keep any of their principle actors around. Though I thought Eric Bana did a fine job, I did think it was a nice upgrade to go to Edward Norton, even if the Hulk never told the Abomination to “bite the curb”. I did think that Liv Tyler was a bit of a step down. Liv Tyler is a fine actress, and a very attractive one at that, but I dig on Jennifer Connelly more. William Hurt was an even bigger step down for me, not because Hurt did a bad job, but Sam Elliot is so much more awesome. Sam Elliot trained THE Dalton in how to whoop ass down at the Double Deuce. That guy could’ve told us all kinds of stories about The Dude … who turns green and kicks people in the chest. Tim Roth was really good in this as well. He’s mostly a composed, by the book military guy, but you can tell he’s got that “I’m macho and I don’t like getting beaten” thing going on in the background, leading him to want more and more power and eventually turning him into an/the Abomination. The cameos in this (and most Marvel movies) are pretty sweet. You have the obvious and big one of Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark coming in at the end talking about some team he wants to assemble. Lou Ferrigno and Stan Lee show up again, as they did in the first Hulk movie. You’ve got a real life Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu expert training Banner in Rickson Gracie. Bill Bixby even shows up on a TV at one point. Not quite as awesome and X-Men: First Class’s cameos, but real solid.

No one would consider this movie a perfect movie, and I don’t even think I’d go so far as to say it’s the perfect Hulk movie, but it’s the best we’ve had so far. They don’t waste a lot of time with setup and story because they want to show a different side of the Hulk. This movie isn’t called “Bruce Banner” for a reason: because it’s about the Hulk. That giant, green, smash-machine. So instead of overdoing the story, they just give us lots of good action, and that’s what I wanted. I wish Norton was still the Hulk, and I kind of liked Connelly and Elliot better than Tyler and Hurt, but the performances were all very solid. Of course I own this movie on BluRay. I own Ghost Rider, for crying out loud! But I think you’ll enjoy this Hulk movie. If you didn’t see it because the first one scared you off, don’t worry. They did this one right. The Incredible Hulk gets “Mas stretchy” out of “Ready for round three”.

Hey, peeps. Why not rate and comment on this as a favor to good ole Robert, eh? And tell your friends! Let’s make me famous!