Love and Other Drugs (2010)

Who Can Sell Dick Drug Better Than Me?

I’ll fess up to this right off the bat: the only thing that interested me about this movie was getting to see the boobs of one of the stars. This is strange because I’ve already seen her boobs in a different movie. And it’s strange ’cause I’m super gay. What? I didn’t type that! I LOVE TITTIES! This movie – which I call Anne Hathaway’s tits part 2 – is generally referred to as Love and Other Drugs, directed by Edward Zwick, and starring Jake Gyllenhaal, Anne Hathaway (and her boobs), Hank Azaria, Oliver Platt, Josh Gad, and Judy Greer.

Jamie Randall (Jake Gyllenhaal) is a young man without a sense of purpose in life. Well, a purpose beyond pussy. He has just gotten fired from his electronic store job, mainly for having sex with the boss’ girlfriend, but also probably a little for having the gall to say that Samsung TV’s are last year and Magnavox is the wave of the future. Over dinner with his successful doctor father, successful doctor sister, and his successful businessman brother, his brother Josh (Josh Gad) gets him a job as a pharmaceutical sales rep. He starts off with regional manager, Bruce (Oliver Platt), who wants to use Jamie to get a better job in Chicago. As part of their rounds, Jamie tries to get Dr. Knight (Hank Azaria) to prescribe Zoloft instead of Prozac. Jamie talks his way into getting to follow Dr. Knight around as an intern and one day observes Dr. Knight with Maggie Murdock (Anne Hathaway), who suffers from early onset Parkinson’s. She also takes this opportunity to get one of her boobs out because of a small blotch on one of them. Shortly after, Maggie whoops on Jamie for not actually being an intern and looking at her boob, and Jamie uses his handsomeness to turn his apology into a date with Maggie. Maggie doesn’t want anything serious because of her disease and Jamie is a womanizer, so this movie goes a little down the “Friends with Benefits” and “No Strings Attached” path, but sways off towards drama because of Maggie’s Parkinson’s.

Let’s manage some expectations here. If you’re in the market for Anne Hathaway’s boobs and a lot of scenes of her having sex with Jake Gyllenhaal, this may be the movie for you. If you’re looking for a good movie, well there are better places to find that. This isn’t a bad movie, but I found it very off-putting. The story was pretty basic rom-com that we’re especially familiar with in the wake of such movies like Friends with Benefits and No Strings Attached, but it’s much more drama than the one of those two movies I’ve actually seen. But they did a thing with this movie that I may have mentioned – but surely thought – while watching the movie TipToes. That thing is that it seemed as if a good portion of the movie was meant to be empowerment for a certain type of people. TipToes was for midgets and this movie is for people with Parkinson’s, and maybe women too … and perhaps a little bit Anne Hathaway’s boobs empowerment. A lot of the movie is about how Gyllenhaal wants to try to cure her but that’s a bad thing because she’s every woman and she can live with her disability. At a certain point in the movie I thought to myself “Alright, I get it. You’re a strong woman who knows what she wants. Move on and stop being a dick”. She was constantly shutting down poor Jake because she didn’t want to open herself up to someone ditching out on her because of her disease, so she wanted to keep it strictly physical. And I know it’s unfair, but I think that’s slutty more than it’s empowered. The sex scenes weren’t even that good. Something about them put me off too. And beyond the sex scenes, all you really have is some failed attempts at comedy and a lot more “Wah wah life is hard, I have Parkinson’s” stuff. Michael J. Fox has his Parkinson’s like a hero and you can too, so knock it off with the whole emotionally distant thing.

The performances were mostly good here. Jake Gyllenhaal is a pretty solid actor and manages to deliver here pretty well. He’s a cocky ass, but also pretty charming, and you never really have any inability to believe that he could pull in the tail that he does in this movie. Anne Hathaway is beginning to make me sad in some of her movie choices recently. I understand that you want to distance yourself from the whole Princess Diaries thing so that you don’t get typecast in all the rest of the movies in your career, but do you have to make every other movie you show up in a movie about you getting fucked stupid and getting your boobs out. I think Anne is gorgeous, but I can feel myself lose interest because she not only gets naked in a good amount of her movies now, but she does it for shitty movies like this and that Crash movie. If you need to get your tits out for a movie that may land you an Oscar, I get it. But this won’t do that. To be fair, she gave a good performance here. Acting like she had Parkinson’s but trying to suppress how miserable that made her was really convincing, but also she kind of pissed me off when her and Jake were obviously falling for each other but she kept shutting him down. The only other person that stuck out to me was Josh Gad, but not in a good way. I’m sure I’ve seen this guy before but don’t remember in what, but he pissed me off really early on and never really attempted to get back from that. The first time we see him, he’s a cocky fat asshole. And what makes it worse for me is that he chews loudly and talks while chewing and that is a major pet peeve for me. It really grates on my nerves. Plus, there’s a scene where Gyllenhaal has a reaction to Viagra and busts into the room where Josh is having sex with a really hot girl and just says “Let’s Go” and Josh pulls out and drives him to the hospital. Who would do that? I would say “Gimme five minutes. Your dick problem takes a back seat to my dick problem.”

If you’re the kind of person that will watch a movie strictly because a hot actress gets her boobs out in it, Anne Hathaway does so in this one. But I would say from personal experience, you may be let down by it. I went in looking for that and I got it in spades, but left the movie wishing I hadn’t bothered watching it. It’s not bad, it just seemed to waste my time. It’s called a romantic comedy by the websites I have checked, and though it does have romance, it lacks comedy. It’s more of a romantic drama, and I don’t like dramas. There are some good performances here, but the whole movie came off as off-putting instead of interesting. So I say you can skip it and join Mr. Skin if you want to see her boobs. Or you can probably find them for free somewhere. Either way, I give this movie “You pity fucked a sick girl” out of “You need someone to take care of you”.

Hey, peeps. Why not rate and comment on this as a favor to good ole Robert, eh? And tell your friends! Let’s make me famous!

X-Men: First Class (2011)

Finally it has happened, the release of one of my most anticipated BluRay releases in recent memory.  Last Friday was the day when X-Men: First Class was released.  I had already seen this movie 3 times by the time I picked up the BluRay but that did nothing to quell my excitement.  I had put off watching it because I already had a back log of reviews, but it finally came time to watch it.  So I opened it up, popped it in, and my BluRay player on my computer promptly failed about 3 minutes into the movie.  Once I’m sure it’s not my computer and is, in fact, the program I use, I may post a scathing review of it.  But that’s a story for a different day.  Today I watched X-Men: First Class, starring James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, Rose Byrne, Jennifer Lawrence, Kevin Bacon, January Jones, and Oliver Platt.

X-Men: First Class starts many years before the events of X-Men 1, though still starting at the same place with a shot-for-shot remake of the opening of X1, with Magneto as a kid in a Nazi concentration camp.  Here Eric Lehnsherr – later Magneto – meets a Nazi scientist that is later revealed to be Sebastian Shaw (Kevin Bacon).  Having revealed himself as a mutant by messing up a gate, Eric has caught the interest of Shaw.  To attempt to help Eric find his powers, he threatens to kill Eric’s mother if Eric can’t move a coin.  Failing to do so, Shaw promptly kills Eric’s mother.  Turns out anger is a very good catalyst for Eric’s magnetic powers, which is shown by Eric trashing the room with his powers.  Jumping over to the states, telepath Charles Xavier as a child comes down stairs in his mansion to meet shapeshifter Raven Darkholme – later Mystique.  Years later, Raven (now played by Jennifer Lawrence) lives with Charles (now James McAvoy) in England where Charles is just getting his doctorate in genetics.  Eric (now Michael Fassbender) is spending his time hunting down Shaw.  Elsewhere still, Dr. Moira MacTaggart (Rose Byrne) stumbles upon Shaw and his Hellfire Club – comprised of telepath Emma Frost (January Jones), teleporter Azazel, and whirlwind creator Riptide.  Shaw threatens a general into voting to move nuclear weapons to Turkey, starting the Cuban Missile Crisis in hopes of getting both sides to nuke the Hell out of each other, leaving only the mutants.  No one believes Moira when she reports this because mutants are relatively unheard of at this point.  So she goes and gets Charles on her side and together they manage to launch a fairly unsuccessful assault on Shaw, which only becomes relatively successful at the intervention of Eric.  Shaw escapes and Eric joins up with Charles and Raven to create a team to take on Shaw in a facility run by Oliver Platt.  At said facility, they meet Hank McCoy – later Beast – who has created a machine that will amplify Charles’ powers.  Using this, they create a team with Angel, a stripper with wings who can spit hot fire like Dylan; Alex Summers, who can shoot destructive red circles as Havok; Sean Cassidy, who can scream real loud as Banshee; and a guy who can adapt to survive named Darwin.  This new team must now train to take on Shaw and stop the two superpowers from destroying each other.

My review of this movie?  I loved every bit of it!  THE END!  …Okay, I’ll do more.

It should not come as a surprise to anyone that knows me to find this out, but here goes: I … am a nerd.  And not only am I nerdy about movies and video games, but I’m nerdy about comic books.  Though not all comic books.  My childhood was spent reading almost exclusively Marvel comic books, my favorite of which being the X-Men.  So one could say that my opinion is a bit swayed by my preexisting condition.  That being said, this movie rocks.  I’m not sure if it’s based on some version of the X-Men I haven’t read, but it doesn’t exactly fit the actual story of the X-Men as I know them.  The first official X-Men team was Cyclops, Jean Gray, Beast (not yet blue and hairy), Iceman, and Angel (though not female bug winged Angel, but male angel winged Angel).  But do I necessarily want to see a movie based on a comic book I’ve already read?  Heck no!  I already know that story.  Gimme some new stuff.  I’m not the type of fan that says they can’t deviate from the text.  I’m the kind of fan that says entertain me, and this movie does that in spades.  It pains me not to spoil them, but the cameos (2 of them in particular) are worth the price of admission alone.  The story was all around fantastic and left me with no complaints.  And (again, no spoilers) the climax of this movie is basically what all movies should take as an example.  It has a very poignant and significant defeat of the main antagonist, an epic showdown, the crippling of Charles Xavier (that’s not a spoiler to anyone that’s watching this movie), and the birth of Magneto.

I would say the biggest thing I had a problem with in this movie was the casting, though not all of it.  Michael Fassbender was the perfect Magneto.  A bona fide badass if ever there was one.  The problem with him was the kid who played him in the beginning.  I thought that kid was awful.  Most of what he did was laughable when it should have been heart wrenching.  Thankfully that kid grows into Michael Fassbender soon enough.  Also, as a side note, from being the coolest Spartan in 300 to being the guy that nearly fudged up the whole plan in Inglourious Basterds, I have not seen Michael Fassbender do something bad.  I even liked him in Centurion, though the movie wasn’t that good.  Next up was Professor X.  Going into the movie I was pretty sure I’d like Fassbender, but something about James McAvoy rubbed me the wrong way.  And since I had only previously seen him in Wanted, and I thought that movie blew, I’d have to blame that.  Thankfully he did a great job as well.  The only problem was that Professor X acted kind of like McAvoy was doing an Austin Powers impression in the beginning, but that was youthful indiscretion and he grew up pretty quick to be the Professor X I wanted, though I was constantly curious about when exactly Professor Xavier became powerful enough that he could stop holding his fingers to his temple to use his abilities.  Didn’t see Patrick Stewart doing that!  Rose Byrne was, as always, a stone cold hottie.  She was good in the movie too.  Jennifer Lawrence as Mystique was good as well.  My only problem with her is that I really don’t see what everyone’s on about with her being so hot.  She’s good looking, sure, and I wouldn’t kick her out of bed, but she doesn’t hold a candle to Rose Byrne for me.

Two big bads to the casting for me were Angel and Emma Frost.  Angel’s performance was fair enough, my problem was with the character.  Who the Hell is she?  As aforementioned, I’m a huge Marvel nerd and even I had to look her up after my first viewing.  Turns out she was a real character in the Marvel universe, but I don’t know if she was significant enough to be in the movie.  And then there was Emma.  At first I thought January Jones made an interesting, albeit tedious choice, to make Emma Frost seem constantly bored and disinterested in being in the movie.  Emma Frost in the comics is a bit stuck up, sure, but devoid of personality?  Not so much.  But I let it slide at first because I thought it was a choice and it just wasn’t the one I would have made.  Then my roommate tells me that she always acts like that and now I can’t watch the movie without seeing how bad January Jones is here.  She is DEVOID of personality.  Hell, her CG diamond form emoted more than she did!

January Jones was not, however, able to dampen my love for this movie.  If you don’t like comic books or comic book movies I: a) pity you, and b) could see this movie not being your cup of tea.  I would say I put this movie as number 3 in my all time favorite comic book movies; right behind Watchman and, of course, Dark Knight.  You should at least see this movie, if not own it.  I give X-Men: First Class a “MAKE ANOTHER ONE, QUICK” out of “THIS MOVIE RULES!”

And, as always, please rate, comment, and/or like this post and others.  It may help me get better.