The Games of 2012

It’s hard for me to decide how long this review is going to be before I get started on it. I feel like I didn’t play as many of the new games that came out this year just because of financial restraints. On the other hand, I also started using my Gamefly subscription more to fill in the gaps that I wasn’t willing to pay full price for. I’m also a little bit worried that I won’t have enough games to complete a bottom three, just because my precious time and money could not be wasted on untested, shitty games this year. Hopefully I’ll have plenty to talk about, but there’s only one way to find out…



I fully intended to play this game; so much so that I actually purchased it and everything. The reason I never got started was because I still haven’t beaten FF13 yet. I started playing it when it originally came out, and then started from scratch again when this game came out, determined to finish a review of it and move onto the next game in the series. I have lost interest both times before actually finishing. One day, FF13-2… One day…



I actually purchased this too … and still haven’t started playing it. I’VE BEEN BUSY!!


AHA! A game I actually beat! And it was … thoroughly mediocre. There’re a whole lot of side missions, and a whole lot of dialogue to sit through, and all of that is written by some guy that nerdier people than myself know. I, however, don’t know him and don’t care to listen through novels worth of dialogue that is not that interesting in the first place. It’s a decent enough game, but certainly not worth a full purchase … unless you find it for $10 bucks like I did.


I was very excited about this game (as I am with all the Uncharted games), but I was not nearly as excited about the Playstation Vita at first. Eventually, I bought a Vita in the Assassin’s Creed Limited Edition bundle, and this game was the only game I was really concerned about getting. How was it? …I’ll let you know. I haven’t finished Assassin’s Creed yet. I’ve been told by my roommate that it’s really good though.



I am apparently a liar. I looked briefly at the 2011 reviews and saw that I said I would definitely be playing this game. Eh… not so much. Not because of the game, but because I seemingly completely forgot it existed.



I haven’t gotten this game yet, but I desperately want it. I have an unnatural obsession with this game series.


A decent enough game. It’s a little repetitive, and I never was really able to muster more than an hour at a time, but it was solid fun. It also looked pretty good, and it was pretty easy achievements. It’s worth checking out if you can find a cheap enough copy.



I was pleasantly surprised by this game. I assume my friend Phil let me borrow the game because he expected such a thing, and he was right for once in his life. The story is simplistic and the graphics aren’t always what we’ve come to expect in this generation of gaming, but the satisfaction I gained from watching one of my shots go through someone’s skull in slow motion never dulled, even when it happened over and over again.



It’s another Lego game! …Take that for what it is. It’s good, and definitely right up a kid’s alley, but it’s not dissimilar from every other Lego game I’ve played in the past. Just this time, it’s Batman and other DC superheroes. Basic gameplay and basic story – and I was a little bummed that they made the characters talk when they’ve been so successful making the other games tell a story in an amusing way without it thus far – but there is some stupid, silly fun to be had in this game. And easy achievements! I’m sure it will be super cheap soon enough. You can give it a go when that happens.


My strange desire to play this game nagged at me for a long time. I had the strange desire because I’ve really liked some of the Spider-Man games in the past. It nagged at me because I wouldn’t buy it because it’s been a very long time since they’ve made one of the good ones. What did they do this time? They made another mediocre one, but one that had the free-roaming gameplay style that I wanted. Overall, I enjoyed playing the game enough because of the gameplay, but the story was really plain, and was also basically the not groundbreaking movie with more cross breeds. It’s okay, and probably worth a rental, but not much more.


Quite a break here, right? It’s almost enough to make you think I had a life during this period. (Psst. I didn’t)



If I had ever reviewed one of these games before, I would suggest that you take that review and change the music on it. Then add one to the number in the title.


I’ve always loved Assassin’s Creed. But every handheld game (of course, I’m referring to the one other handheld one that I played) has been an utter disappointment. I have not completed this game, but it has blown my expectations for the handheld Assassin’s Creed games out of the water, while simultaneously not really being as good as any of the console games. It handles a lot like the Assassin’s Creed with the addition of the Vita’s second analog stick, but there’s not a whole lot going on in the story, and most of the missions involve changing Aveline’s costume and going to kill something. At least from what I’ve played so far, it’s not the greatest game, but it is a good game, and it’s the best Vita game I’ve played so far. It’s also the only one I’ve played so far.



I’ve made it no secret that I’ve decided to boycott the Call of Duty games. They typically have next to nothing interesting going on in their single player campaign because they know that no one is really that interested in playing it. They tend to do a lot of good with their multiplayer, but that has bit me in the ass too. I bought the last two CoD games, and never really played Black Ops online. And I didn’t even open my copy of Modern Warfare 3. That caused me to decide to completely boycott this game. …That being said, I received the game as a Christmas present, and so I played it. The story is fairly solid, though not at all groundbreaking. They did make a few changes to the gameplay, and they all work well in favor of the game. It’s fun, though I’d say it’s a little easy for its own good. It’s also fun that they take it a bit into the future while also taking us back into the past, so we get to use some tried and true weapons and also use some futuristic weapons, some of which seem far fetched and others that seem realistic. I have not ventured into multiplayer yet, but I would say that what I’ve played of the game so far has made me not disappointed to own the game.


I haven’t played this game, but I assume you can take my review for Lego Batman 2 and exchange the word “Batman” with the word “Aragorn”.


I look forward to playing this game … when I can find it for about $30.



Medal of Honor: Warfighter (2012)MEDAL OF HONOR: WARFIGHTER

When I rented this game, I wasn’t expecting much. With a name as bland as “Warfighter”, what should I expect? A mediocre game! DELIVERED! The story of the game was too long, it offered no appreciable innovations to the first person shooter genre, and the graphics were occasionally subpar. I’m sure they invested a good amount of their time into the multiplayer, but I invested none of mine into it. I just rented it to see if it was any good, then I beat it in a couple of days and sent it back, relatively unsatisfied. It’s not awful, but it’s probably only worth picking up if you can find it for about $10.


Dishonored (2012)DISHONORED

This game disappointed me, but it also helped prove me right. People need to stop using hyperbole when talking about things with me. If you’re going to set this game up to me as mind-blowing – so much so that I’ll actually invest my monies into it – then it had damned well better be. It had better not be okay, and then just devolve into repetitively cutting throats. And the goddamned game better not try so hard to make me feel shitty for doing cutting those throats. You put it into the game! Maybe YOU’RE the bad person! Not me for realizing that the least frustrating way through a stealth game is to take the bad people out of the equation. Bad people can’t be bad anymore when their blood is no longer in their body.



A pretty disappointing game that I probably shouldn’t have bothered expecting anything out of in the first place. This game was my own mistake because I put it on a Twisted Metal (2012)list for my birthday and it was gifted to me by my sister. I should have probably known better. My sister doesn’t game, so she wouldn’t know better. The game did remind me of a simpler time when all a game really needed was some goofy cars and explosions, but the problems of the game became more and more annoying over time. There were some frustratingly difficult parts in the game, and the game has no interest in telling you how to play it. And, to top that all off, you can probably knock it out in a few hours and then have no reason to play it. It has multiplayer, but it wasn’t my cup of tea. It had Twisted Metal Black to download along with the game, but that only really served to remind me that lots of games don’t age well. I can see some potential for this game to be entertaining when split-screened with your friends, but that does not justify its price.


Kinect Star Wars (2012)KINECT STAR WARS

I never got around to finishing this game, but I did play a good deal of it. I only bought the game because there was no other way to purchase the special edition R2D2 Xbox 360 without getting this game to come along with it. I even tried to trade in the game after I purchased the console, but the game wasn’t in Best Buy’s systems yet. So I decided to play it instead. The regular gameplay was fine enough, but a little repetitive. I did feel like I actually had full access to all of my midichlorians though. So what was the problem? This game shit all over my childhood! You seriously gonna have Han Solo dance in the carbonite chamber before he gets frozen? To a poorly parodied version of “I’m Riding Solo?” Fuck that shit! Those were not good times for old Han.


SSX (2012)SSX

Oh that’s right, I DID want to kick a game in the nuts this year. That game was SSX. I only played this game because I remembered playing it when I was younger and really liking the simple fun of the series. I played this game and found that fun did not hold up anymore. There was no story and I got extremely bored of the gameplay in about a half hour since it was the same thing over and over, and that one thing was not even very fun. The game looks okay, but really has nothing else going for it.



The only game that almost made my top five for this year was Sniper Elite V2. It was a pretty fun game and surpassed any expectations I could’ve had for a game that I had never heard of that came out completely under my radar.


Max Payne 3 (2012)MAX PAYNE 3

I had been a fan of the Max Payne series since its beginning, and I still enjoyed Max Payne 3, but it was a bit of a trudge in more than one part. Mainly, Max himself. Such a whiny bitch for someone that is killing hordes of his enemies like he was the Armageddon the Mayans were talking about. The story was good, but the dialogue suffered from Max Payne’s inescapable moroseness. So morose was he that it actually took away from my enjoyment of the extremely quality gameplay. I knew I would love that much, with all the jumping through windows and firing in slow motion. I just could’ve enjoyed it much more if Max would just shut the fuck up.


Halo 4 (2012)HALO 4

I give this game extra credit for blowing my expectations for it out of the water. This was the first time the fate of Master Chief had been left in non-Bungie hands, and 343 tore it up. I’ve only played the campaign thus far, but I thought the story was really good, and even had a surprising bit of emotion to it near the end. Before that, it’s not much more than going from computer terminal to computer terminal, and I could resent that because it’s a version of my life with more guns and aliens. But the game looks GORGEOUS. Best looking Halo game so far by leaps and bounds. I bet the multiplayer is even good. Maybe I’ll give it a go.


Assassin's Creed 3 (2012)ASSASSIN’S CREED III

I’ve always loved Assassin’s Creed. Every console game thus far has been right up my alley. This one was as well … with a few notations. I loved the story and felt that it came a lot closer to home (as it physically came closer to home) by actually happening during a time period I would actually have any knowledge of. And I’ve always liked the way the Assassin’s Creed games play. Running over rooftops and stabbing necks with wrist blades is always good times. It’s like Dishonored if Dishonored didn’t punish you for playing the game the way it was designed. What did kind of punish me was how many glitches I encountered in the game. I ran into invisible walls, jumped onto walls instead of running in the direction I was trying to tell Connor to go, and on one occasion something in the game fired me up into the air, sending me crashing to my death. Still, the game was awesome when these things were not hindering my enjoyment.


Far Cry 3 (2012)FAR CRY 3

This was probably my most anticipated game of the holiday season, and it did not disappoint. All the Far Cry games are graphically fantastic, and this one held up its end of that. And you can also expect the landscapes in Far Cry to be huge, lush, colorful landscapes with tons of things to explore. The stories of the Far Cry games are typically unimpressive, but I actually liked the story of this game … mainly because there was one. And it was good too. I especially liked any parts of the story involving Vaas. My roommate did good by getting this game for me for Christmas.


Borderlands 2 (2012)BORDERLANDS 2

When it came to the best game of this year, there were a few games it could be, but only one game it’s gots to be. I have already beaten this game as well as all the available DLC for it so far, and I’ve also played a good amount of time with all 5 character types available to me, but I still haven’t produced a review for the game because it’s so good that I have not yet decided that I’m over it. It is so good! The story is as fun as I’ve come to expect from my time with the first game, but they also actually put a few surprises and a few emotionally impactful moments. And on top of that, it’s an excellent first person shooter with RPG elements, and that is pretty much my two favorite game genres. This game is awesome. You need to buy it.

These are my opinions, but I would love to hear yours. Just like with the movies of 2012, I would love for you guys to leave me a comment telling me what your top and bottom 5 video games of 2012 were.

Let’s get these reviews more attention, people. Post reviews on your webpages, tell your friends, do some of them crazy Pinterest nonsense. Whatever you can do to help my reviews get more attention would be greatly appreciated. You can also add me on FaceBook and Twitter. Don’t forget to leave me some comments. Your opinions and constructive criticisms are always appreciated.

Sniper Elite V2 (2012)

Slow-Mo Surgery With a Bullet.

As far as I can recall, this is actually the first time I’ve ever taken a request for a video game review.  The problem with taking reviews for video games is that video games are expensive and I don’t get paid, nor do I get video games sent straight to me so that they can benefit from my reviews.  I don’t know why as my integrity is so flexible that I would give a game a positive review if it were sent to me for free by the company that makes it.  WINK WINK.  The reason today’s video game was a manageable request to grant is because Phil, the requester, delivered the game to me for a week in order to review it.  Let it be known, if you want me to review a game, give it to me, even if only for a week.  Well, let’s see how this one went as I review Sniper Elite V2, developed by Rebellion Developments, and published by 505 Games and Ubisoft.

You play as Karl Fairburne, an OSS sniper in 1945 Berlin, nearing the end of World War II.  He goes in to shoot a few people.  Then he finds out about the development of the V-2 ballistic missile, which will probably mean bad times for the good guys.  So he has to stop that.  Then he must shoot a few more people.

You could probably have guessed by that last paragraph that the story of this game is nothing to write home about.  What’s more important is that it doesn’t really matter, but we’ll get to that later.  The story is super basic, and takes us back to the WW2 period that I had started to think we had escaped.  There was a period of time when WW2 games seemed to be 90% of the games that were being released.  At the time, I could feel myself getting sick of it along with the rest of the world.  But now that the games feel almost gone, I admit that I kind of missed it.  There is nothing in the world that I can think of that I like shooting more than Nazis.  I am not a fan of those guys.  And really, there’s nothing that I can think of that’s easier on the psyche to shoot.  Even aliens might not be all bad.  I am comfortable shooting any Nazi.  Or German.  Or person, for that matter.  I kill lots of people.  I probably shouldn’t be admitting that.  Anyway, the story is super basic and nothing special.  I might not even really know what it was!  I was a guy who was a good sniper, and I went to various places where I had to kill Nazi’s and Soviets until I reached a place where I killed one main guy that I was sent to kill, or I find some rifle or information, or I shoot a rocket, and then I kill a lot of Nazi’s or Soviets on my way out.  That’s really it.  I don’t think I even took a single note on the story of this game it was so basic.  Does that mean it’s not worth playing?

Nuh uh.  The game play is super satisfying.  What you can probably guess from the title of the game is that you’ll have the opportunity to do some sniping.  What you can’t tell from the title is that is my favorite part of a shooter.  It’s just more satisfying to me to shoot someone that’s running from 100+ yards away than shooting someone in the trenches with a machine gun.  And you know what makes it even more satisfying?  Sniper Elite V2 does.  It’s watching the bullet in slow motion as it flies towards the enemies and pierce their skull, then turning to X-Ray so you can see the impact on their skull and internal organs.  You’d think that would get repetitive and annoying if you’re a good enough sniper to hit headshots or shots to vital almost every time (as I am), but it never did.  If you play on Cadet (Easy) difficulty, you will snipe as in most shooter games.  When your sights are on the enemies’ head, that’s where your bullet will go.  But if you want it to be slightly more difficult and easily more satisfying you can go up to the normal difficulty, where you have to factor in gravity and wind’s impact on the bullet so that you’ll have to aim above the enemy, depending on how far away they are.  It’s more difficult, sure, but when you get the hang of it that head shot means so much more.  The game is played in third-person and you can use cover, but their cover mechanics weren’t that smooth.  Your best bet is to try your best to stick to stealth until you get to a good sniping perch, where you can surround yourself with landmines and trip wire explosives and snipe away, using background explosives to mask the sound of your gun.  The alternative is using the machine gun you brought with you, but that’s not a good alternative.  Ammo can be pretty scarce for it, it doesn’t aim particularly well, and one clip will take out maybe two enemies and you only carry maybe two clips.  I started to get annoyed at one point by how poor their machine gun mechanics were when their sniper mechanics were so good, but then I remembered that the game wasn’t called Machine Gunner Elite V2 and just stopped using the machine gun altogether.  When I needed stealth, I would either stealth kill them by hand or with my silenced pistol, but you have to be careful if you’re trying to be stealthy.  If you set the enemies off looking for you, it can take forever for them to stop.  It’s quicker to just kill them all.  As a small gripe, I found it annoying that you had to change your loadout before each mission, even if you just wanted to keep the same weapons as you ended the last mission with.  And it would’ve been nice to have a few more weapon options other than just three sniper rifles, three machine guns, and three pistols to choose from, but not a super big concern either.

The graphics in the game are pretty hit and miss.  The settings are usually collections of various types of rubble and debris, surrounded by blown out houses that keep your path fairly linear.  The people are unconvincing for the most part, usually pretty generic designs with hair that seemed plastic, but this too wasn’t a real concern of theirs in making the game.  All of the stuff from watching the bullet up close, seeing it spin and reflect the backgrounds off of it before hitting the brainpan of the enemy all looked good.  It’s hard to talk shit about that kind of thing because they did what they wanted to do very well, and everything else they didn’t waste a lot of time on.  I guess that kind of makes sense.  Also, this game’s protagonist is your typical raspy hero type that you may have seen in every other game ever.

Despite it’s super basic story and hit and miss graphics, I still managed to take a great deal of enjoyment out of my brief time with Sniper Elite V2.  The often linear and rudimentary story is easily made up for with some of the best and most satisfying sniping in video games of recent memory.  Mediocre graphics be damned!  I can watch bullets go through lungs!  It’s a short game, and probably not worth the full $50, but if you can find it for about $30 or less, it’s definitely worth it.  The greater majority of the achievements can be worked out in a week, but I wasn’t going to bother with the online play to find out how long that takes.  Sniper Elite V2 gets “Right through the fuckin’ eyeball!” out of “My hair is also made of plastic.”

Let’s get these reviews more attention, people.  Post reviews on your webpages, tell your friends, do some of them crazy Pinterest nonsense.  Whatever you can do to help my reviews get more attention would be greatly appreciated.  You can also add me on FaceBook and Twitter.  Don’t forget to leave me some comments.  Your opinions and constructive criticisms are always appreciated.